Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
