yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
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answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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