can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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