google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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