those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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