Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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