his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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