direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize