I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
