I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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