The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
