I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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