Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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