I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
