their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
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She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
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I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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