I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
