please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
