But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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