Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
