the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
