I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
