yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
