I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
