Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
We just shotgunned beers for America
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
