My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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