i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
