I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
