she woke up with a sticky ear
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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