actually, I'm a sock model
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
