so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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