you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
