God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
