We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
