you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
