im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
