Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
