The brown eye won't let me do that either.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize