OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
