Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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