Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
