then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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