I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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