do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
