he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
They are going to name an STD after you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
