I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
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i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
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I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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