he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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