I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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