I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
