i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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