i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
BRING THE BAGELS
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
PANTIES FOUND
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