I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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