Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
