I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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