this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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