my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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