Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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