Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
