I met the friendliest cop last night
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
we should paint friendship bongs
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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