All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
