At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
