An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
