All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
