Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
