i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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