this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
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I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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